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 Parenting 101 - Parenting Advice
I’m Counting to 10 … Hope and Humor for Frazzled ParentsBy Jahnna Beecham and Malcolm Hillgartner  Out of the Mouths of BabesYesterday I was doing chauffeur duty, taking Dash to soccer, and Skye and her best friend, Katie, to ballet class. The girls were in the back seat playing their favorite game, “What if?” “What if I was a unicorn and you were my mommy, and the Abdominal Snowman was after us?” Skye said to Katie. “The Abdominal Snowman!” Katie gasped. “He’s really scary.” “They must have meant the Abdominal Crunches,” Malcolm said later. “Now those are scary!” That got me thinking about some of the other cute things our kids have said. I still remember the day Dash told me that, “Women are blootiful. But me and Dad are ‘stinguished.” One of Malcolm’s favorite moments was when Dash pulled him over to the cage in the corner of his classroom to show him the “skinny pigs.” I’ve been keeping a journal over the past few years, jotting down the funny, sweet, strange things the kids have said. I thought I’d share a few of them with you. One day Dash was counting pennies. I held up the side with Lincoln on it and asked, “Do you know this man’s name?” Dash stared hard at the coin and finally said, “Um . . . Derek?” Valentine’s Day, and three-year-old Skye announced, “I’m in wub with Ben. When I grow up to be a princess and Ben is a prince, I will dance with him in my gown of roses.” Dash, after taking a chairlift to the top of Big Mountain, flung his arms open and shouted, “Look, everybody! It’s the whole wide world!” Two-year-old Skye describing her bald grandfather: “Grampa has off hair. Grandma pulled it off.” Once Malcolm asked Dash why he was so mad at Skye: “She always hits me back!” When Skye had the flu and threw up, she declared, “A mean guy came and put barf in me.” After a hard day at preschool Dash confessed, “I don’t like Margaret’s kisses. Margaret’s kisses aren’t real. They fall off.” Skye was helping me get dressed one morning. “Mommy, here’s your skirt,” she said. “And you can wear this top. Or you can just wear your breasts.” I think my favorite thing Dash ever said was when Malcolm had to go away on a business trip. On the fifth day Dash came to me and said, “Momma, my eyes hurt from watching for Daddy.” I’m sure all of you have favorite quotes from your kids. Art Linkletter was right—kids do say the darndest things!
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