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Parenting 101 - Parenting Advice

Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Drugs and Choices
By Dominic Cappello and Xenia G. Becher, MSW, CSW

Preparing for the Talk

This talk will give you the chance to introduce the topic of alcohol and other drugs with your children. It also will help you explain why it’s important to discuss drug use. This first chapter will help you and your child discuss your values and feelings about drugs.

In this talk you will help your child understand that

  • Alcohol and other drugs are part of everyday life.
  • There is a difference between drug use and drug abuse.
  • Alcohol and other drugs alter our feelings and it’s important to know how they are altered.
  • The use and abuse of alcohol and other drugs does not excuse harmful behavior.
  • There are family rules about alcohol and drug use.

What You Can Expect from This Talk

After the talk your child will be able to ·
  • Define the term “drug.”
  • Describe alcohol and drug use and abuse.
  • Express the family rules about alcohol and other drug use.

Is Your Child at Risk?

Why do some children misuse alcohol and drugs, while others do not? There is no simple answer to this complex question. But one key element can help us understand children’s behaviors when it comes to drugs: risk factors. Risk factors are the conditions in a child’s life that increase the likelihood that a boy or girl will develop one or more health behavior problems during their teens. Researchers have noted risk factors that can lead to a variety of serious situations, including alcohol and drug misuse, teen pregnancy, and violence.

But risk factors are not the end of the story. Today many health educators are focusing on “protective factors,” things that can strengthen a young person and promote a safer and healthier adolescence. In order to help your child develop healthy behaviors, there are some protective factors that need to be set in place and reinforced:
  • Ongoing family and community dialogue about values that promote health, safety, and respect
  • Continued nurturing of the child’s relationship to the family
  • Continued support of the relationship between the child and the school
  • A long-term relationship with a trusted adult who models support, respect, and caring
  • Active involvement in extracurricular activities to build self-esteem and confidence
  • Trusted friends

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ “Prevention Primer,” if the high-risk environment is the family itself – for instance if children are growing up in an alcoholic or drug-abusing family, studies suggest that they have a better chance of growing into healthy adulthood if they
  • Can learn to do one thing well that is valued by themselves, their friends, and their community.
  • Are required to be helpful as they grow up.
  • Are able to ask for help for themselves.
  • Are able to distance themselves from the dysfunctional family member(s).
  • Are able to bond with a socially valued, positive entity, such as the family, school, community group, or religious organization.

Thought this list may seem like common sense, some children lack the most basic items on it. As a result, they end up making uninformed and unhealthy decisions. Your kids are making choices every day, choices that will smarter and healthier with the support of a vigilant parent, a supportive teacher, and a nurturing community. Look at the list again. How many protective factors are in place for your child?

Copyright 2001 by Dominic Cappello and Xenia G. Becher, MSW, CSW
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