Engaged couples often express concern about losing that spark of spontaneity in their relationship. I can relate. The longer I'm married, the more difficult it is to be spontaneous. The days are short and life is complicated with little time for creative bursts of romance. So what can you do?
Words like plan, schedule and appointment don't sound very impulsive, but updating your vocabulary is what it takes to inject 'spontaneous' romance into your marriage.
My Palm Pilot is full of reminder alarms for anniversaries, birthdays, weekend getaways, flower orders, dinner dates and surprise vacations. If you're like me, it's easy to forget these opportunities as time slips by.
If you have a romantic thought during the day, take action! Pick up the phone and make the dinner reservation; stop by the Hallmark and pickup the card; call your wife and tell her "I love you." I'm on a first name basis with my florist. All I need to do is pick up the phone and put the order on my account —it doesn't get easier than that.
Your romantic adventures can be exotic or simple. Romantic getaways, dates and gifts don't need to be pricey. Be creative! Chocolates, bath oil, candles and silk boxers are all inexpensive and work wonders!
Sometimes you need to be strategic. Sheri still talks about the surprise limo that picked her up at work, and whisked her off to a day at the spa and a romantic overnight at a four star hotel —with her sexy husband, of course. That experience required lots of up-front preparation, but was well worth it.
Take initiative in planning that surprise afternoon, sending the kids to grandmas for the weekend or creating that romantic environment in the bedroom. At a minimum, you should set aside a weekly date night —you need that regular time to unwind and refocus on each other. That should be a priority.
As un-spontaneous as this sounds, sustained romance in marriage doesn't just happen —it takes intentionality, sensitivity and action.
