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Expert Advice

Masters & Disasters of Marriage Quiz
By Dr. John Gottman

What makes Marriage Work?

For the last 25 years at the Family Research Lab at the University of Washington, Dr. John Gottman studied what he calls the "masters and disasters" of marriage. He studies heartrate, facial expression, and how people talk about their relationship to each other and to other people. He's able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples are going to make it, and which will not. Test the strength of your marriage in this relationship quiz prepared by Gottman.

Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer.
1. I can name my partner's best friends.

yes
no

2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
yes
no

3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately.
yes
no

4. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
yes
no

5. I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life.
yes
no

6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
yes
no

7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
yes
no

When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner.
yes
no

9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.
yes
no

10. My partner really respects me.
yes
no

11. There is fire and passion in this relationship.
yes
no

12. Romance is definitely still part of our relationship.
yes
no

13. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.
yes
no

14. My partner generally likes my personality.
yes
no

15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying.
yes
no

16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me.
yes
no

17. My partner is one of my best friends.
yes
no

18. We just love talking to each other.
yes
no

19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions.
yes
no

20. My partner listens respectfully, even when we disagree.
yes
no

21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver.
yes
no

22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life.
yes
no

Above 12: You have a lot of strength in your relationship. Congratulations!.

7 to 12: This is a pivotal time in your relationship. There are many strengths you can build upon but there are also some weaknesses that need your attention.

6 or fewer yes answers. Your relationship may be in serious trouble. If this scares, you probably still value the relationship enough to try to get help.

To learn more about what makes marriages work, read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. If you are interested in obtaining more information about Gottman's research, obtaining educational materials from The Gottman Institute, or learning about their workshops for couples, contact The Gottman Institute at 888-523-9042, or check their Website at www.gottman.com.



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