Divorce Busting
By Michele Weiner-Davis
Is Divorce All Bad?
Research on the potential effects of divorce on childhood development is about two decades old, and the lasting effects are only beginning to be documented. The actual percentage of children adversely affected is still largely an unanswered question.
We do know that children are not necessarily doomed to a life of depression or delinquency simply because their parents have decided to divorce. In fact, many children do quite well. Some researchers believe that the parental conflict that often follows divorce, rather than the divorce itself, is the major cause of childhood behavior problems associated with divorce. Children whose parents strive to cooperate or co-parent after divorce experience fewer post-divorce difficulties.
So whether you decide to learn how to cooperate with your spouse within the context of your marriage or in the post-divorce period, if you want you, your spouse and your children to have a stable environment you will need to develop and practice problem-solving skills. The message of this book is: "Why not begin right now?"
You are probably saying to yourself, "Yes, but how?" This book was written to provide you with answers to this question. Based on my work with hundreds of couples, it has been my observation that a vast number of marital problems are caused by misconceptions about love and marriage. Unrealistic expectations about relationships are the viruses in unhealthy marriages. Chapter 2, "Illusions Leading to Dis-solutions," outlines these misconceptions so that you can see how faulty thinking may be underlying some of your difficulties.
|
