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 Marriage 101 - Collective Guidance
Incredible Intimacy by Jim Mueller When you think of intimacy, what comes to mind? A romantic date? Warm conversation? Candlelight dinner? Spending time together? Sex? Not long ago, I defined "intimacy" as the physical part of our relationship. That definition has expanded. Through the years our relationship became less selfish, richer and less physical. Now, don't misunderstand, the physical aspect of our relationship is still important and fulfilling. Somehow the physical element of intimacy now takes a backseat to a new, more meaningful, intimacy experience. Over the last several years, our marriage has evolved in to a deeper partnership, with increased trust, confidence and security. Our communications and conflict resolution skills have improved. We selflessly serve each other, always looking for creative ways to express our love and foster romance. Our relationship has expanded beyond simple physical intimacy into a deep spiritual intimacy. To be honest, this new level of closeness caught me by surprise. Not long ago Sheri and I made spiritual decisions and commitments that, to us, seemed unrelated to our marriage. An upshot of our now changed lives is a stronger, more vibrant marriage —Spiritual Intimacy. It was a package deal. Essentially, spiritual intimacy in marriage is about partnering with God; Harnessing His love, strength and leadership and utilizing that power in your marriage. Initiating Spiritual Intimacy Remember, spiritual intimacy doesn't just "happen" —We made specific decisions and commitments that made us accessible to what God wanted to do in our marriage. Where to Start: Partnering With God For the first half of our marriage Sheri and I were far from God. Sure we were "good" people, we attended church occasionally, we prayed —but we really didn't know God. Trying to be a good person is important, but what God really wants is to have a personal relationship with you. You do that by making a decision —You simply tell Him you have messed up and need Jesus Christ to be your personal savior. You decide to turn from your sin, as best you can, and ask Jesus to be your leader and friend. Simply talk to God; Pray to Him. Experiencing that defining moment will launch you in to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Your life will change. Your marriage will change. To achieve spiritual intimacy in your marriage, it's vital that you both are on the same page spiritually. That means you and your partner both need to "do business" with God —You both need to submit to Him and follow him. Imagine a triangle. Optimally, in a Christian marriage relationship, God is at the top and you and your partner are at opposite ends on the bottom. As the two of you grow spiritually, you will move upwards together toward God, up the triangle. If you and your spouse believe different things or are on opposite spiritual growth patterns, you will not only grow apart relationally, but your growth will stall spiritually. Engaging in a personal relationship with God is the first and most important step in initiating spiritual intimacy. Next, you need to increase your accessibility to God. You need to position yourself in activities that will facilitate God-caused change in your marriage.
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