Do Not Involve Other People
The argument is between the two of you. Young couples make the mistake of involving friends or parents (usually mothers). The damage comes later in several forms; 1) A parent will more than likely remember the issue long after a couple has forgotten. 2) The respect and perception once held by a parent for a childs spouse will decline. 3) A couple may feel uncomfortable facing the parent even after an incident has been resolved. 4) A parents natural reaction is to protect a child and this reaction may cause further damage to the relationship.

No Past History
If it's already been settled, don't bring it up again. It is irrelevant and merely a way to smear your partner. It is OK to go back to learn, but not to get something on your spouse.

Stick to the Subject
Stay focused. Find the issue and don't bring in other issues just to prove your point. When he comes home later and she feels taken for granted or unloved, deal with feelings to make the real issue apparent.