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The Hidden Costs of Keeping Love Alive

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More Lasting Unions: Christianity, the Family, and Society

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The Marriage Spirit

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Celebrating Our Differences
Living Two Faiths in One Marriage
By Mary Heléne Rosenbaum & Stanley Ned Rosenbaum

The Home Team Approach: Your God Shall Be My God

If your partner is already more religious than you are, or belongs to a stricter or more exclusive religion than yours, you may be tempted to convert just to make things easier. But will they be easier? The community that you now enter may not be too receptive, especially if your conversion is only for the sake of the marriage.

Even if conversion smooths some obstacles, how comfortable are you going to feel in five years, or in ten, having given up your belief in God for someone else’s?

Statistics show more of these conversion marriages succeed than those in which there was no conversion, on paper at least. Conversion can make questions of marriage ceremony, child raising, and family affiliation seem easier, and can also remove superficial conflicts.

If you, however, convert for convenience, not from conviction, you may well be letting yourselves in for deeper trouble later on. In the first place, you may have to conceal your real motive for converting from the clergy conducting the process. This may make you feel hypocritical.

And how will you feel toward the person who “made” you do this? If you don’t feel the least bit resentful at the moment, will you later? Will you feel that he or she “owes” you a big one? We know a woman, originally Jewish, who began having second thoughts about her conversion to Catholicism – after fifty years of marriage.

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