Celebrating Our Differences Living Two Faiths in One Marriage
By Mary Heléne Rosenbaum & Stanley Ned Rosenbaum
Religion: Another World
“Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24, the Bible’s first description of marriage, is more than a license for lovers to ignore their parents. It instructs us that the marital relationship takes precedence over any other. The ancient Israelites knew that effecting a spiritual union would be hard enough; they didn’t want the newlyweds’ loyalties to remain with the families from which each had come, but envisioned the creation of a new family unit.
But what the ancients thought about intermarriage can be found all over Scripture: they were unequivocally against it. If a same-faith marriage can be seen as a kind of hybridizing of two families, an interfaith marriage is more like grafting one species of tree from another; the graft doesn’t always take.
It may seem ridiculously obvious to say that the first question you need to deal with in marrying someone of a different religion is your different religions. But we’ve been amazed at how many couples discount religious belief or affiliation as unimportant in comparison to practical problems of arranging the wedding ceremony. They either ignore their religious differences or pick an approach to them that they may not have thought through.
As the following pages show, there are basically four approaches to interfaith marriage: Conversion, Compromise, Love conquers all, and Our way – keeping both faiths alive. Naturally, we think our way gives interfaith couples the best chance at success. But remember: none of these ways guarantees success; and – what’s even more important – solving the religious problem can be a long-term affair.
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