 
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship He/she had the Affair - Why do I Need to Change? What Everyone Needs to Know About Extramarital Affairs. 10 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples The Good Marriage - How and Why Love Last The Hidden Costs of Keeping Love Alive More Lasting Unions: Christianity, the Family, and Society The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong & Loving Marriage |  |
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The Marriage Spirit Finding the Passion and Joy of Soul-Centered Love By Drs. Evelyn & Paul Moschetta The Evolving Picture of Marriage Historically, marriages were based on socially prescribed roles and expectations. Husbands worked while wives had the major responsibility for raising children and caring for the home. By filling these roles couples shared a sense of basic security and partnership and, if they were fortunate, love feelings as well. These were marriages of duty and obligation; their main function was maintaining family ties and protecting family assets. Such marriages fostered the greater good of the larger society but often failed to meet deeper individual needs. Social and religious prohibitions against divorce rather than a deeply meaningful bond between husband and wife held many of these marriages together. Because of their focus on basic needs and social roles the quality of a couple's intimacy, their degree of closeness emotionally and sexually, was not recognized or considered important. How they appeared and functioned as a social unit in the community was given highest priority. Over the last fifty years this traditional model has been evolving into the companionship marriage. Here fixed roles are de-emphasized, as both partners usually work outside the home. Husband and wife both pitch in to get household jobs done and parenting children is more of a shared responsibility. What counts most in companionship marriage is the quality of a couple's togetherness, the degree to which they can create a mutually satisfying emotional and sexual relationship. To meet this expectation couples devote much of their attention to how they interact. Great importance is placed on learning to communicate, fight fair, and negotiate conflicts. Too often, however, the sexual component takes center stage and leads to an overemphasis on methods, techniques, and performance. In the companionship-marriage couples learn to be more expressive and less antagonistic, but when they stop there they sometimes end up feeling discontented and yearn for a deeper kind of togetherness. A vibrant, alive marriage has to be more than just problem free. The concept of "good health" is a useful analogy here. Good health is much more than the absence of illness. It includes all the benefits of optimum functioning, a zest for living, and the harmony of body, mind, and spirit working together as a unified whole. Similarly, marriages, when they are strong and healthy, become powerful vehicles for personal growth and self-transcendence. They are sacred places for the generation of unselfish soul-centered love.
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