Diane Warner’s Complete Book of Wedding Toasts
Hundreds of Ways to say “Congratulations!”
By Diane Warner

Delivering your toast

• Stand to deliver your toast.
• Go easy on the alcoholic beverages before delivering your toast.
• Never tap a spoon against a cup or a glass to gain the guests’ attention; instead, stand with the toasting glass held high until you have relative silence. Then, once you start to speak, everyone should quiet down to hear what you are saying. If there is a serious problem quieting things down, however, the master of ceremonies may ask for the guests’ attention or the musicians may play a rousing fanfare as a prelude to the offering of the toasts.
• Use a microphone or speak loudly enough for all the guests to hear you. If you decide to use a microphone, make sure to test it out beforehand. If you’re the first speaker, you don’t want to be the one who discovers that the mike squeals when held too close to your mouth or that the volume is so low no one can hear you in the back of the room.
• Maintain eye contact with the bride and groom as you deliver the toast.
• Avoid negative body language, such as:
• Chewing gum.
• Hanging your head.
• Shuffling from one foot to the other.
• Jingling coins or keys in your pocket.
• Holding your fingers in front of your mouth.
• Placing one hand on the back of your neck.
• Tugging at your collar or fiddling with your tie.
• Tapping your foot.
• Running your fingers through your hair.
• Scratching yourself anywhere.
• Helpful hint: To avoid most of these annoying habits, hold the glass in one hand and a microphone in the other.)
• Avoid negative speech patterns as you deliver the toast, such as:
• Repeating “You know,” “Uhhh” or “I mean.”
• “Fast talk” – the tendency to talk faster as you progress through the toast. Not only will this distract from the content of your toast, but it will reveal your insecurity and give the impression: “I want to get this over with as soon as I can!” One quick cure for fast talk is to breathe. Toasters frequently forget to breathe, which rushes the toast, so concentrate on speaking in a leisurely way, breathing between each phrase.
• Letting your pitch rise. Not only is there a tendency to talk too fast, but to let your pitch spiral higher and higher, as well. Make a concerted effort to lower your voice to a richly modulated tone, raising your voice off and on only as necessary to make a point, always returning to the lower pitch. But whatever you do, don’t speak in a monotone.
• Helpful hint: To avoid all of these negative tendencies, practice delivering your toast to a “live audience,” such as a trusted friend or family member. And, as an added measure, have one of them record your toast on an audio- or video-tape. Then, by seeing yourself as others see you and hearing yourself as others hear you, you’ll be able to correct any little problems you may be having.)
• If you’re absolutely terrified to speak in public, practice your toast in front of a full-length mirror every day before the wedding and try to remember this: Because a wedding is such a lighthearted, joyous occasion, you couldn’t have a more undemanding audience. If you make a little mistake, or even if you end up reading your toast (which is the very worst thing that could happen), you will be forgiven! What will be remembered is the sentiment expressed, not some trifling faux pas.
• Smile!

This book contains the largest compilation of wedding toasts ever assembled, many gleaned from hundreds of one-on-one personal interviews, as well as electronic interviews conducted over the Internet. Some of the most interesting and creative toasts were contributed by members of various wedding-related newsgroups on the Web. Although many of these toasts have been personalized to include stories about the newlyweds and their relationship to the toaster, they will serve to whet your creative juices as you ponder your own relationship to the bride and groom and experiences you may have had throughout the years

As you read through this book, it may be a good idea for you to highlight your favorite phrases, quotations, or anecdotes, which can then be used or modified as you compose your own toast.

Have fun!

Excerpted from Diane Warner’s Complete Book of Wedding Toasts,© 1997 by Diane Warner. Published by Career Press, Inc., Franklin Lakes, NJ. All rights reserved.