Diane Warner’s Complete Book of Wedding Toasts
Hundreds of Ways to say “Congratulations!”
By Diane Warner

Composing Your Toast

• A perfectly composed toast should be eloquent, poignant, whimsical and witty.
• If you know you will be offering a toast during the wedding rehearsal or wedding reception, compose it ahead of time. When it comes time to offer your toast, you may use note cards to remind you of what you’ve decided to say or, if you’re uncomfortable speaking in front of a group, it may be wise for you to commit your toast to memory. Never, however, read your toast because this will ruin its whimsical qualityBy “whimsical,” I mean that the toast should sound unrehearsed with an unpredictable quality about it, as if you just thought it up on the spot (even though you have been composing, editing and practicing it for days!).
• Even though the wedding reception may be quite elegant and formal, and even though you may be considered an extremely literal and erudite person, avoid using pompous words of phrases. A toast is supposed to have a “warm, fuzzy” quality that springs from the heart and soul of the toaster.
• Avoid clichés. Instead, speak straight from your heart with as much sincerity and honest affection as possible.
• Use personal anecdotes to spice up your toast. For example, tell about that Saturday afternoon when you and the groom were in third grade and you made a pact to “hate girls forever,” or how the groom’s only high school passions were sports and cars – girls were considered a silly waste of time and money, etc. If you can’t think of any interesting or clever stories to include, or if you haven’t known the bride or groom very long, do some research. Ask the bride’s mother, for example, for any “inside information” she may be willing to reveal, or ask anyone else who has known the bride or groom over a length of time. Delve deeply, and you’re sure to uncover several fascinating tales that can be used in your toast.
• Bits of poetry, interesting quotations and appropriate witticisms will enrich your toast, as well, and show that you cared enough to give it some thought ahead of time.
• Avoid any jokes or anecdotes that are off-color or have ethnic or religious connotations.
• If you do decide to throw some humor into your toast, which is an excellent idea, be sure to end on a serious note.
• Steer clear of profanity. Foul or offensive language is considered taboo during any speech or toast.
• If it’s the bride’s or groom’s second marriage, never mention either’s first marriage during the toast.
• When composing your toast, never include any embarrassing references to the newlywed’s upcoming honeymoon, their future lovemaking or any results thereof.
• Wedding toasts should be upbeat, so stay away from depressing subjects, such as a recent death in the family or anything else that would tend to bring tears to the eyes of the bride and groom. If there are to be tears, they should be from joyous hearts, not sad or grieving hearts.
• A wedding toast is usually between three and five minutes long. Any longer than that and you’ll lose your audience!