Ready, Aim . . . Hesitate:
How to make the most of your first date
By Cortland Kirkeby
First dates are often exhilarating -- and a little scary. Here are four guidelines to help you to enjoy the experience.
- Don’t audition -- your “third best foot” will suffice for now.
Conventional wisdom says “put your best foot forward.” After all, you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, right? That may work in a job interview, but in a lasting personal relationship, you need a partner who can handle your off days -- and your days off. That’s why you and your prospective partner should “tell it like it is” rather than frantically decorating everything with pretty yellow ribbons. If you’ve had a rough day at work or you’re nervous about a final exam in two days, say so. Don’t dwell on it, but don’t apologize for it either. The feelings of relief you elicit in your prospective partner will surprise you. Thank goodness they don’t have to pretend either.
- Be creative -- and interactive -- in choosing places to go and things to do.
It’s time to “fess up” and admit that the typical -- and dull -- dinner-and-a-movie date format can really leave you in the dark concerning your prospective partner. There are so many better options, including walks in the woods, amusement parks, one-day cooking classes, visits to museums and historic sites -- or even the zoo. Try to find mildly stimulating activities and surroundings where you can talk, move about and get acquainted. Disappointing dates -- the kind that degenerate into politicking for premature sex -- can usually be traced back to poor planning. Make sure there is something to do besides “the obvious.”
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