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Maturity in Relationships

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Maturity in Relationships
by Larry James

LoveNote . . . To be capable of real love means becoming mature, with realistic expectations of the other person. It means accepting responsibility for our own happiness or unhappiness, and neither expecting the other person to make us happy nor blaming that person for our bad moods and frustrations.

~ John A. Sanford

Maturity, in general, is many things. Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action, which will pay off later.

In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will present itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn't happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.

One of the characteristics of infancy is the "I want it now" approach. Grown-up people can wait. And often they don't. Often they allow themselves to slip back into infancy so they can justify rushing into things.

Maturity is the ability to stick with a project or a situation until it is finished. It means doing whatever it takes to make the relationship be one you are proud to be in. The adult constantly changing jobs, relationships, and friends, is in a word . . . immature. They cannot stick it out because they have not grown up. Everything seems to turn sour after a while.

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