There is a period close to the beginning of most long-term relationships when we're so swept up in the excitement of the chemistry of being in love that we don't mind the things in our partners that will later become ingredients for stress. Most of us eventually get over this rosy view. But in the process of descending from the heights of infatuation, we can sometimes move too far in the opposite direction. We are no longer blinded by love, and have to grapple with the reality of another flesh-and-blood person. It's a natural, necessary, and healthy part of love, but it feels like a loss, and it causes pain.
There's no easy cure for the stresses of life as a couple. But your view of the person with whom you share those stresses can go a long way toward affecting how important you allow the stresses to become. When you remember the hows, whys, and wherefores of falling in love with your partner, you maintain a sympathetic, appreciative perspective of that person.
The process of remembering the one that you fell for starts within you. Think back to your first glimpse of your partner. Remember the details of your partner's personality, appearance, preferences, and habits. Think about how those aspects affected you when they were all new to you, and remember what you found attractive.
Remembering the one that you fell for can also be a two-way street. Take walks with your partner down "Memory Lane." In the early days of romance, you shared some powerful emotions and exciting times. Recalling them together can bring them back into focus and even spark new life in the here and now. Celebrate special occasions by returning to old haunts that have significance for you as a couple. Pull out old photographs, laugh about happy times, and plan activities that you used to enjoy doing together. Don't seek to recreate the past, but let it feed a richer experience in the present.
In short, make your shared history a powerful tool for a happier, more satisfying life with your partner. In the process, you'll free up room for a love that continues to grow and deepen.
Remember the One That You Fell For 
