Here you are in the early stages of dating, turned on and tuned in to your handsome, sexy partner. Things are heating up; suddenly kissing turns to touching, which turns to a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom. The passion of the moment is hot, hot, hot – but turns to “thanks and see ya' later” in the morning.
In the early stages of dating, it is possible for a man to be interested in having a relationship with a woman upon whom he is showering attention and affection, but most often he's not that discerning. Men can feel a strong, passionate desire to be with a woman even if he barely knows her. In this way, men are like blowtorches. They heat up really fast and then they turn off in an instant. Because they feel such strong physical chemistry, men unwittingly send a message that they are interested in sex and so much more, when, in fact, they may be interested just in sex.
Many women assume that if a man is physically attracted to her, he is also interested in pursuing a relationship with her. She accidentally confuses his attention, interest and attraction with affection or love. When this happens, it is easy for a woman to experience repeated frustration and disappointment in the dating world.
It's good for a woman to keep in mind that there are four degrees of sexual intimacy, and she can choose to say yes to different degrees of sex without having to go all the way. Think of the old baseball analogy and give some thought to which bases are "ok" for you to travel to. A woman may not always want to say no in the heat of passion, so it's a good idea for her to share a clear picture of how far she is willing to go and to get a clear message from the man that he will respect what she wants.
If a woman has sex before she is genuinely ready to, then she may feel tricked or betrayed if a man's interests shift to another relationship, or another area of his life. To help eliminate this from happening, women need to bear in mind that they have control over this part of their lives. When a woman misinterprets a man's behavior, she will often mistakenly assume that he is further along in the five stages of dating than he may in fact be.
According to the book Mars and Venus on a Date, each dating relationship progresses through 5 distinct stages. Trouble often erupts when couples progress through the stages at different paces. Sex, and the introduction of intimacy, seems to require a foundation between two people so that if, and when, sex inspires insecurity, the relationship can endure whatever is brought up.
According to this 5-stage model, sex is best introduced after a couple has decided to commit to each other such that they are not physically involved with other people. In the real world we all know that this does not always happen, and most couples share with us that they feel an attraction, become intimate, and then wonder if this person is right for them. In an ideal world, this is an example of the cart being before the horse! That being said, thousands of couples have sex early in a relationship and go on to have successful marriages.
For a woman who has felt duped by a man who "seemed" to want a relationship, but in reality did not, there are things she can do. First, take a step back from the situation, and remember that sex is not what makes a woman special to a man. Even when a woman falls in love right away, she needs to put on the brakes and move slowly and carefully through all of the stages, making sure that both partners are on the same page.
Second, continue to exercise good judgment, and continuing to raise your standards! This will ensure that you are not compromising yourself, or settling for less than you deserve. Remember, a mature man who continues to date only women who are physically attractive and sexually responsive may never find real and lasting love. Similarly, a mature woman who continues to date men who come on strong and are only interested in her looks and openness to having sex will continue to be disappointed.
Finally, be patient with yourself. Dating is a process, and it can take people time to genuinely open up and be their real self. When in doubt, slow down. If the person you're dating is really the person they claim to be, you will see this clearly over time. Then you can truly trust not only with your instincts, but also what your experience tells you. And your experiences are far more valuable than intuition alone.
Remember, correctly understanding the differences in the way men and women think and feel doesn't always clear up the mixed messages and miscommunications. It does, however, help us to avoid misreading a relationship's possibilities, and save us the heartache in the end.
For more advice like this, please visit www.marsvenus.com
Here you are in the early stages of dating, turned on and tuned in to your handsome, sexy partner. Things are heating up; suddenly kissing turns to touching, which turns to a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom. The passion of the moment is hot, hot, hot – but turns to “thanks and see ya' later” in the morning.
