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LOOKING FOR MR. (OR MISS) RIGHT?
Here are the Seven Most Critical Factors for Choosing a Mate
By Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.
Recently, a couple I’ll call Steve and Laura came to my office for counseling. Sitting at opposite ends of the couch, they hardly looked at each other.
When I asked them what brought them to therapy, Laura blurted, “We never should have gotten married in the first place! Our four years together have been plagued with nasty fights followed by long periods of strained silence. Who needs it?”
I asked Steve to give his assessment.
“All that’s true,” he said. “But she didn’t mention that we have absolutely nothing in common.”
How in the world did these two get together? I wondered.
It turns out they had met during their college years where both were involved in student leadership. They looked good together as a couple, everyone said they were “made for each other,” and both were tired of being single. So after six months of starry-eyed dating, filled with all the intoxicating feelings of romance, they said their vows and began their lives together.
“About a week after we returned from the honeymoon,” Laura said, “it dawned on both of us--we made a huge mistake.”
Then Steve hit the bull’s-eye: “We were so swept away by our whirlwind romance that we failed to look at each other realistically. We never stopped to think if we were well matched for a long-term relationship.”
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All People Want Love 
