Dating and the Pursuit of Happiness
INTRODUCTION: Loving Yourself into a Relationship
by Dolah Saleh During the course of writing about relationships, I met with single men and women and conducted numerous in-depth and casual interviews as well as focus group sessions. “Survey Says: What Singles Say,” shares the results of these interviews and surveys and reveals what men and women really think about dating issues such as who pays, who should ask for a date, when to call after a date, rejection, commitment and sex. Using the feedback obtained in these sessions, I have been able to provide realistic, comprehensive advice.
Chapter nine focuses on the answers to commonly asked questions and practical matters such as, how to meet people to date, going on the first date, how to know when the date is a disaster, if there is a right age to get married, how to end a relationship, and mistakes to avoid before and after marriage.
Okay, you’ve done the work on personal issues in your life, you’ve moved beyond matters that caused problems in the past, you don’t expect another person to be the solution to happiness in your life and you’re ready for a healthy relationship. Chapter ten discusses how to maintain a long lasting relationship and become passionate friends and includes advice from couples who are happy together.
What none of the dating books can help with, and this book is no exception, is the responsibility we have to ourselves to live a meaningful life. Life’s fulfillment is often measured by the relationships we build with people we choose to have in our lives. Our love life should meet our needs, but not before we have met our own. We are probably best advised not to enter into a love relationship with another until we have had one with ourselves. This is a crucial distinction, and until we learn it, we will continue to be presented with numerous opportunities for lessons in the form of potential life partners. Happiness will never depend upon the presence or absence of someone is our life; it will depend only on the quality of our choices as we respond to what happens in our lives.
So, here’s to all the single people of the world: may you find peace with your status, and one day, Love Yourself into a relationship… — Dolah Saleh
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